SNL Sarah Palin Mockery Gets Even Better with VP Debate Parody Skit

Best line= “Are we not doing the talent portion?”

O.J Simpson FINALLY Found Guilty, May Be Sentenced to Life in Prison

Karma’s a bitch. And the old adage, “what goes around comes around,” might finally have come around for our good ol’ friend, our very own celebrity sports star turned felon O.J. Simpson. Simpson faces the possibility of spending the rest of his life behind bars in prison, after he was found guilty on 12 charges: from conspiracy to commit a crime, to robbery, to assault and kidnapping with a deadly weapon. Someone better start praying that he doesn’t get ass-raped repeatedly in the pen’. And here’s the awesome irony. According to CNN, “The jury reached the verdict 13 years to the day after O.J. Simpson was acquitted of two murders” (that’s ex-wife Nicole  Brown Simpson and her boyfriend Ron Goldman for all you youngins).

“Goldman’s father, Fred Goldman, was thrilled with the result.” Ya think?

“We’re absolutely thrilled to see that the potential is that he could spend the rest of his life in jail, where the scumbag belongs,” Goldman said Saturday. “Right now, there is not much more to say other than we’re going to wait to find out what else happens.”

All i have to say is it’s about damn time. Yes, the glove didn’t fit, but he might not get acquitted this time.

What a way to enter retirement!

Clay Aiken Finally Comes Out of the Closet

I can’t exactly call this “news,” or act like this is breaking in any way, shape or form. Because that would be a lie. And like Clay Aiken, I don’t lie.

I’m merely stating what everyone knew the moment they laid eyes on Clay Aiken.

It’s official.

Clay Aiken is gay.

Clay Aiken has come out of the closet.

He justified his stance by stating in a People magazine interview that he could not “raise a child to lie or hide things.” Why he continuously refused to tell the media prior is beyond me. I respect that he wanted people to know on his terms, but in reality, dodging questions looks sketchy and only makes people talk even more.

There are some pretty undeniable signs that Aiken was gay that some of his ridiculous fans flat out refused to acknowledge: He would always dodge questions about his sexuality and never confirmed or denied being gay, he wore more make-up on his face than Rupaul, had a child via surrogate mother, and has had more hairstyles in the past few months than women Tony Soprano has slept with in his life.

Who’s the next one up to bat? Ricky Martin, who has literally followed in Clay Aiken’s footsteps and fathered twins to a surrogate mother, has yet to come out. And the countdown begins…

Tina Fey is the Best Sarah Palin Ever

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Not much to comment on other than Tina Fey is freakin hilarious (and dead on)! The accent, the looks, the demeanor, the voice, the obnoxious accent, the entire package!

Drunken Amy Winehouse Pukes on $46,000 Loaned Dress

Amy Winehouse was billed nealry $50,000 for puking and ruining a designer gown.

Amy Winehouse was billed nearly $50,000 for puking and ruining a designer gown.

Amy Winehouse was billed $46k after vomiting a designer’s gown during a night of drunken debauchery.

This should be a sign from God, but she still probably “won’t go go go” to rehab.

According to British newspaper the Daily Mirror, Winehouse is “blacklisted” by furious fashion publicists, who have removed her from the long list of celebrities who receive regular clothing loans and free gifts from their high-profile clients.

A source told the Daily Mirror that “Harvey Nichols loaned Amy (almost $50,000) worth of silk and satin dresses. Unfortunately, while wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender. She ended up in the loos, where she was violently sick. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.”

To make the pretty humiliating experience even worse, she didn’t wrap the dresses separately when she returned them, which caused vomit to get one more clothes. On some gowns there was reportedly green fuzzy mold, which pretty much makes any designer outfit obsolete.

A note to Amy, next time you have to puke, just don’t “go go go” all over the $50 grand-priced dress. That’s what toilets are for (their secondary use, of course).

Greetings from my UK Vay-K

Just to let all my readers know, I’m currently on vacay in the UK visiting my family. Since I’m extremely busy with my family here in England and, I’m afraid I won’te get a chance to blog until I come back next week. So until then, sit tight, watch some tv and wait for your RSS feed to collect some snarky new posts from me. Since I won’t have time to write anything clever, I thought it would be a good idea to start collecting British slang and translate it to English (the American kind). Here’s what I’ve picked up so far: BTW, I’m probably going to be spelling a lot of things incorrectly:

Brits: I’ve got to go to the loo.
I’ve got to go toilet.
Americans: I’ve got to go to the bathroom.

Brits: I got really legless last night.
I got really mashed up last night.
Americans: I got totally hammered last night.

Brits: Those two don’t get on/ Them lot don’t get on.
Americans: Those two don’t get along / They don’t get along.

Brits: He’s just bloody takin’ the piss now.
Americans: He’s just letting it drag on forever and a day at this point.

Brits: You a’right?
Americans: How are you?

Brits: What a prick!
Americans: What a bastard/ass hole!

Brits: What a twat!
Americans: What a douche bag.

Brits: He lives opposite her.
Americans: He lives across the street from her.

Brits: You can at least indicate before you turn!
Americans: You can at least signal/turn your blinker on before you turn!

Brits: It’s okay.
Americans: You’re welcome.

Brits: Give Way (to the pedestrian)
Americans: Yield (to the pedestrian)

Brits: Flat to let
Americans: Apartment for rent

And my personal favorite:
Brits: It’s nice.
Americans: This food is delicious OR the house is enormous OR the weather is perfect OR that computer is awesome!;

Brits: It’s really nice.
Americans: This food is really delicious OR the house is really enormous OR the weather is really perfect OR that computer is really awesome!

If you like something, when in doubt, just say it’s “nice.” You’ll totally blend in and you won’t even need to think of a more precise adjective.

That’s it for now, these bloody keys are placed differently in England and I’m starting to feel a slight case of carpal tunnel already coming on. Toodles!

8 Soulful UK Artists that aren’t cracked out a la Amy Winehouse

I love Amy Winehouse’s music…but I’m not sure if I love Amy Winehouse. Let’s just say if I saw her I would probably not talk to her. I’d give her a hamburger and fries without saying a single word. Then I’d run like nobody’s business. At least then, maybe she wouldn’t have to shoplift to get a meal. Since she’s blown up so much and there’s not much American music hitting the scenes, I thought I’d provide some UK alternatives (since it seems as though that’s where all the talent is).

1. Adele

Born: London, England
Influences: Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, Aretha Franklin
Albums: 19
Notable Songs: My Same, Right as Rain, Hometown Glory, Chasing Pavements

2. Duffy

Born: Gwynedd, Wales
Influences: Aretha Franklin, Dusty Springfield
Albums: Rockferry
Notable Songs: Mercy, Warwick Avenue, I’m Scared

3. Corinne Bailey Rae

Born: Leeds, England
Influences: Norah Jones, Billie Holiday, India Arie, Ella Fitzgerald
Albums: Corinne Bailey Rae
Notable Songs: Put Your Records on, Choux Pastry Heart, Like a Star, Trouble Sleeping

4. Joss Stone

Born: Kent England
Influences: Aretha Franklin, The Supremes, Angie Stone, Norah Jones, Alicia Keys
Albums: Mind, Body & Soul, The Soul Sessions, Introducing Joss Stone
Notable Songs: Tell Me What We’re Donna Do Now, Don’t Cha Wanna Ride,
Super Duper Love (Are You Diggin’ On Me)

5. Lily Allen

Born: London, England
Influences: Blondie, Shaggy, Prince
Albums: Alright, Still
Notable Songs: Smile, Everythings Just Wonderful, LDN

6. Kate Nash

Born: London, England
Influences: Regina Spektor, Carole King
Albums: Made of Bricks
Notable Songs: Foundations, Merry Happy, Mouthwash

7. Bat for Lashes (aka Natasha Khan)

Born: Brighton, England
Influences: Janis Joplin, Bjork, Steve Reich, Susan Hiller
Albums: Fur and Gold
Notable Songs: What’s a Girl To Do, Prescilla, I’m on Fire, The Wizard

8. Estelle

Born: West London, England
Influences: Lauryn Hill, Mary J. Blige, Santogold
Notable Songs: American Boy, You Are, Shine, 1980, Freedom
Albums: The 18th day, Shine