Category Archives: Culture and Society

Three Qualities in Men That Drive Women Nuts: What not to do

dating tips and characteristics to avoidAlthough men and women might as well be different galaxies (forget different planets, the Venus/Mars analogy is an understatement), many women like to think that they really know men, and vice versa. Men and women can try, at best, to find a common ground, but there are some inherent differences that make us…well, inherently different.
Women are constantly trying to figure men out — and while women may not have all the answers when it comes to understanding men, they do know exactly what qualities in men they absolutely hate. Even though we’re all responsible for our own behavior, societal “norms” have conditioned many men to hold on to characteristics that they think are normal…but drive women utterly up the wall.
Arrogance

This is one of those qualities men think women actually dig. Those men who do should learn the difference between confidence and arrogance. While confidence is extremely attractive, arrogance is a huge turn off. The difference is pretty simple. Confidence is usually implicit, and comes from body language, composure, eloquence and other subtle characteristics. Women love to observe, and noticing a confident man usually takes some time. Arrogance, on the other hand, is noticeable almost immediately. Arrogance constitutes blatant, obnoxious, in-your-face cockiness, which is likely to lead to a marathon of unfortunate events. Women can’t always tell arrogance from confidence until a man opens his mouth, which is why it can be hard to discern between the two. If we encounter a cocky guy, we might mistake him for a guy that carries himself well and show interest until he opens his mouth. But unfortunately, it’s a vicious cycle — the cocky ass hole will feed into the slightest bit of attention and get even cockier as the night goes on.
If you’re on the extreme end of the loser spectrum, you might still use corny, clichéd pick-up lines. Thankfully, the days of corny pick-up lines are over for the most part, but where one tactic ends, another one must take off, and now a new array of equally desperate tactics has entered the playing field: The new trend seems to be asking the stupidest questions to try to elicit conversation — à la Mystery from the hit VH1 show The Pick Up Artist. Arrogant men regularly use variations of questions taken from the show and expect it to work. When women hear something remotely close to this type of “opener,” (unless they’re equally desperate) don’t be surprised if they jump back by saying, “So, I see you took notes from The Pick Up Artist.”
If forced conversation and ridiculous questions aren’t bad enough, the last thing women at a bar or club want to hear is you go on and on about yourself and about how great you are. Can you say buzz kill? Women also don’t really care to hear you brag about what Ivy League school you graduated from and how much money you make when they’ve only known you for five minutes.
Key takeaways: Women would prefer to determine for themselves how “great” you really are. So quit the narcissistic monologue and try asking the lady some questions that actually allow you to get to know her. Build upon common interests and don’t try to force attraction.
Insecurity

Although it can be the complete opposite of arrogance, an insecure guy who makes socially awkward comments or barely talks at all, is just as annoying as the arrogant jerk who won’t shut up. Although they can seem mutually exclusive, insecurity is often the reason for arrogance. Many men feel the need to make up for other flaws by overcompensating — this usually comes in the form of bragging. These guys typically have zero personality and don’t have much to offer women beyond their false-perceived self-perfection, so they go on and on about their PhDs, their high-paying corporate jobs or their “fantastic” lives. They clearly have characteristics they feel inadequate about, which besides bragging, can manifest itself in clamorous, ostentatious and aggressive behavior.
On the contrary, text-book insecurity — usually characterized by excessive shyness, inability to start or hold a conversation and overall social awkwardness — is annoying for the simple fact that it can make getting to know a guy frustrating and pretty difficult. Women want a guy that’s easy to talk to from the get-go, and your social anxiety isn’t making the situation any easier. A girl wants a guy who can make her feel good and comfort her, and if insecure guys don’t feel good about themselves, how are they supposed to make the opposite sex feel good? If they’re the insecure type that can actually make it through a conversation and elicit some interest from women, those guys will more than likely be the type to smother, be too controlling and over possessive. These traits stem from fear…fear that their girlfriends or love interests might leave them for someone else — someone hotter, someone smarter, someone tougher, someone richer, someone taller. And it’s all because deep-down guys that are always second-guessing themselves never feel like they’re good enough.
Key takeaways
: Although insecurity takes place in many forms, it’s clearly not attractive in any of its facets. Be confident (we’re obviously interested in you because you have some redeemable qualities) or fake it if you have to, trust us and give us space when we need it. Women will reciprocate the favor and will be honest with you if you just learn to let go a little.
Bad Hygiene and Manners

This is one of those things that guys have the hardest time understanding, despite the fact that more “metro” tendencies are quickly becoming the norm. Personal grooming and everyday hygiene are necessities, not optional. Failure to meet these requirements is an instant deal breaker. A generally well-maintained appearance, a clean scent (bathing with soap and a simple deodorant will work just fine), and healthy-smelling breath are very important. No one wants kiss, let alone get into bed with someone who reeks of sweat and the guys’ locker room at the gym. Most women don’t expect you to have a hairless chest, wear designer clothes or have six-pack abs, but we do expect the bare minimum. Yes, that means daily showers are mandatory. This seems like common sense, but you’d be surprised to learn that many men don’t follow these rules.
Please understand, it might acceptable, funny and cool to pass gas watching football with the boys — you might even have “competitions” to see who can rip the loudest one — but it just doesn’t cut it with the ladies. In fact, women get kind of disgusted by it. If you don’t want us to fart or belch, it’s only fair that you don’t do the same. Double standards are so thirty years ago, and nowadays holding your personal gas boils down to general human decency, not the necessity to be “ladylike” or “manly.”
Key takeaways
: Staying clean, smelling decent and grooming the excess (nose hair and nether regions are a plus) can work wonders, or give you the boost you need to begin the process of wooing.
In reality, it doesn’t take much to keep a girl interested. Granted that there is some level of physical attraction, you really just have to focus on staying afloat. Being a normal person with whom a woman can have a genuine conversation is all it takes to pass the first step. Once you get there, all you have to worry about is the first date.

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Greetings from my UK Vay-K

Just to let all my readers know, I’m currently on vacay in the UK visiting my family. Since I’m extremely busy with my family here in England and, I’m afraid I won’te get a chance to blog until I come back next week. So until then, sit tight, watch some tv and wait for your RSS feed to collect some snarky new posts from me. Since I won’t have time to write anything clever, I thought it would be a good idea to start collecting British slang and translate it to English (the American kind). Here’s what I’ve picked up so far: BTW, I’m probably going to be spelling a lot of things incorrectly:

Brits: I’ve got to go to the loo.
I’ve got to go toilet.
Americans: I’ve got to go to the bathroom.

Brits: I got really legless last night.
I got really mashed up last night.
Americans: I got totally hammered last night.

Brits: Those two don’t get on/ Them lot don’t get on.
Americans: Those two don’t get along / They don’t get along.

Brits: He’s just bloody takin’ the piss now.
Americans: He’s just letting it drag on forever and a day at this point.

Brits: You a’right?
Americans: How are you?

Brits: What a prick!
Americans: What a bastard/ass hole!

Brits: What a twat!
Americans: What a douche bag.

Brits: He lives opposite her.
Americans: He lives across the street from her.

Brits: You can at least indicate before you turn!
Americans: You can at least signal/turn your blinker on before you turn!

Brits: It’s okay.
Americans: You’re welcome.

Brits: Give Way (to the pedestrian)
Americans: Yield (to the pedestrian)

Brits: Flat to let
Americans: Apartment for rent

And my personal favorite:
Brits: It’s nice.
Americans: This food is delicious OR the house is enormous OR the weather is perfect OR that computer is awesome!;

Brits: It’s really nice.
Americans: This food is really delicious OR the house is really enormous OR the weather is really perfect OR that computer is really awesome!

If you like something, when in doubt, just say it’s “nice.” You’ll totally blend in and you won’t even need to think of a more precise adjective.

That’s it for now, these bloody keys are placed differently in England and I’m starting to feel a slight case of carpal tunnel already coming on. Toodles!

The Truth About Medical Marijuana, Seth Rogen Always Wants to Be Stoned

According to the NYTimes, medical marijuana actually does have valid medicinal uses.

“The truth, these researchers say, is that marijuana has medical benefits — for chronic-pain syndromes, cancer pain, multiple sclerosis, AIDS wasting syndrome and the nausea that accompanies chemotherapy — and attempts to understand and harness these are being hampered. Also, they add, science reveals that the risks of marijuana use, which have been thoroughly researched, are real but generally small.”

Speaking of medicinal marijuana, Seth Rogen (star of Pineapple Express and Knocked Up) is apparently the worst role model ever. During his guest appearance on “The Daily Show,” he basically advised high school kids to smoke a sh*t load of weed and make a movie based on it (as a formula for success). I love his sense of humor and the two of them together is total comedic bliss. Check out the clip below.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

posted with vodpod

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Bragging Makes Her a Hypocrite

Jennifer Love Hewitt's rapid weight loss

It looks like J Love just pulled a Tyra Banks.

Just last November, tabloid pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt vacationing in a bikini were published…and spread like wildfire. The tabloids proceeded to call her fat, displaying images of her overall normal looking body (a few butt dimples, cottage cheese thighs and all). Despite all the ridiculing, J Love decided to take a strong stance against the tabloids and the general public, committing to defend her weight, encourage women of all sizes to go to the beach and proudly rock a bikini, and remind everyone just how much she loved her body as is–a curvaceous size 2.

I’m not mad at her for losing weight. Working out, exercising, rejuvenating the mind, feeling healthy and good about yourself are always positive things in my book.

What bothers me more than anything else is the fact that she made public statements about how she loves her body, only to become just another another teeny weeny Hollywood actress chick a few months later…and then brag about it US Weekly. She is ultimately sending the message that a.) all those statements about her loving her body were untrue b.) all those girls that she pleaded with to go out and proudly flaunt their bikinis should probably just cover up or try to look as slim as her c.) actresses MUST conform to Hollywood standards to fit in and be recognized as attractive d.) if other girls want to be famous or get media attention, they should be super skinny too.

In her interview she claims that she didn’t lose the weight because of all the negative press she was receiving, but because she wanted to be healthier. If that was true, why didn’t she do it quietly, rather than to show the whole world by being the cover girl?

I actually admired the fact that she stood up for herself during those horrid days of constant belittling and trash talking. It was really refreshing to hear that she thought she looked good and was totally okay with it. I think being petite and curvier made her stand out (in a good way) from other Hollywood trash, gave her body a very soft and feminine look, and a cute “girl next door” charm. She was the girl you wanted to get to know. And I suppose having huge boobs didn’t hurt her appeal either. She epitomized every man’s fantasy by achieving the perfect combination of cute and sexy.

Instead, she just had to go pull a Tyra and take all of it back.

Tyra Banks being called "fat" in her swimsuit

TA trip down memory lane: Tyra Banks being called

With Tyra, media tabloids caught her vacationing in a bikini and the next thing you know the whole country was talking about it, especially Tyra, only she was still talking about it after everyone else had already gotten over it.

Said Tyra in response to the media calling her fat, “I’m happy to be 20 or 30 pounds heavier than the average model and I felt like that was a positive image especially with what’s going on now in society with models and women hating themselves and hating their bodies.”

A few months later, she appears on magazine covers 20-30 lbs. lighter, asking “You call this fat?” I don’t think it would hurt for both of these women to be honest and say that they ARE in fact self-conscious about their bodies. Nearly all women are to a certain extent. Instead of looking it at realistically, they gave the world what they thought would be the safest, most motivating answer/response.

I am self-conscious (not to the extreme) about my body, but I don’t go around acting holier-than-thou or trying to preach some sort of message to the masses about loving your body despite having stretch marks, cellulite and muffins. That would just be fake.

Well, I guess our beloved Jennifer Love Hewitt can no longer be called Jennifer Love Hugetits ’cause those babies shrunk… I’d say probably by two cup sizes. Comes with the weight-loss territory, I suppose. Shoulda thought about that before going gym-crazy, J Love.

Janet Jackson’s Superbowl Incident Now Achieves Dictionary Status

A little while back when I wrote a post about Janet Jackson’s FCC fine relief, I thought it would be the last I would hear about the whole Janet-Superbowl situation or anything else Janet related (unless she suddenly became preggers or decided to marry Jermaine Dupri). I suppose you can never underestimate the power of wardrobe malfunctions and Janet’s exposed nipple ring–they go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Speaking of wardrobe malfunctions, that’s exactly what the new coined phrase is in the Chambers English Dictionary. Don’t ask me way, but makers of the dictionary actually made a conscious decision to add the phrase into a reference book. You know, a dictionary. A book that people refer to when they want to know the definition of a real word. I suppose as long as they don’t add bootylicious to the dictionary I can remain relatively sane. Oh, nevermind…I guess they added that one too. And that time it was the Oxford Dictionary online. We’re really making great strides in the American vocabulary here.

It is said that English is the language with the most words in the world, and I’m beginning to understand just why. We continuously scope sites like urbandictionary.com and assimilate the most ridiculous words into our everyday language right before we stick it in the dictionary.

It looks like Janet is having a really good year. First CBS got relieved of the FCC fine and now she has her own phrase. Shakespeare and Chaucer would be proud (of the latter, of course).

America’s Next Transgender Model?

Isis, the transgender contestant on America's Next Model Season 11

Isis, the transgender contestant on America's Next Top Model, Season 11

Oh, Tyra. What self-serving barriers will she break next? She’s been homeless (for a day), she’s been fat, she’s been dark-skinned, and now she has the chance to please GLAAD. In America’s Next Top Model, she also takes pride in what she’s been able to accomplish. She’s knighted all types of girls into “modelhood”–girls from the hood, “short” girls, black girls, white girls, lesbian girls, plus-size girls and now…a transgender girl named Isis. I’m glad they’re keeping the show diverse, let’s just hope Tyra doesn’t embarrass or exploit the poor girl (knowing Tyra, she’ll probably make it one of the modeling challenges, despite the fact that it’s already been done on past seasons).

I’m wondering if the use of the word “transgender” is correct. Did they mean transexual? If Isis is a transgender, does that mean she still has her manly parts? I’m not sure if America is ready to witness a bikini bulge. We can barely accept the fact that a black man just may become president.

What will Tyra pull out of her black hat abyss next?

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Heidi Montag Continues to be a Spotlight Whore, Wishes to Campaign with McCain

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According to E! Online, Hideous Montag is hoping to campaign with “white-haired-guy” Republican candidate John McCain.

Despite all the money she makes (trust, she makes enough to buy a mansion with Spencer in Beverly Hills), she is still hustling for the spotlight. Making ridiculous music “videos” with her saggy, fake balloon tits rolling around in the sand, being a timesuck on The Hills, and posing for men’s magazines apparently isn’t enough. She has to further ruin the already tainted politosphere around the election by the sheer mention of her desire to “help” out in interviews.

Wanna know what important strategic discussions she would like to have with McCain to take his efforts to the next level? I could only imagine it would be a mandatory state tax that funds her desperate need to find a good plastic surgeon. But surprisingly, that wasn’t it (but I was pretty close). She took the critical opportunity to brainstorm just how she could politically contribute to the McCain campaign by chatting it up with his daughter, Meghan. What did they discuss, you ask? Is the suspense killing you? ***DRUMROLL please…***

“A lot of fashion, actually,” says Montag. “We talked about my clothing line, and she was asking where to get it.”

Perfect! Another opportunity to plug her skanky animal print, lacy miniskirts. Maybe Meghan was asking where to get it so she wouldn’t accidentally make her shopping rounds there.

Although I despise Heinous Montag and everything she represents, more power to her if McCain agrees to sabotage his political career by seeking her “assistance.”

Maybe Paris Hilton and Heidi can battle it out “political television ad” style a la the funnyordie video. I think I just puked in my mouth a little bit.

Meghan McCain and Heidi Montag (who obviously doesn't miss a nanosecond of posing/photo opps) having lunch at the Ivy (of course Heidi picks the most well-known paparazzi hotspot)

Meghan McCain and Heidi Montag (who obviously doesn't miss a nanosecond of photo opps) having lunch at the Ivy (of course, the most well-known paparazzi hotspot)

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